And with that, period 1 SuperTour racing comes to a close.
I had quite the mixed bag of results this week up in Anchorage. From in the 30’s in the skate mass start, to 2nd in the classic sprint, to one of my worst qualifier results in years in the skate sprint, I arrived home last night simply relieved to get into my own bed.
Obviously, I wanted more from this past week of races. I wanted to win at least one of the sprints and I definitley wanted to do better in both qualifiers. Sometimes the body doesn't quite have what you need on the day. Or, at least, that's what I told myself.
However, as I sit here reflecting on the week, I realize that it might not have been the body that was lacking. Likley my head was the reason my body lagged behind. I 'wanted' to win races. But that desire was a bit shallow considering that I couldn't really think of why I wanted to win outside of stanting on top of that podium.
I talked with Grayson about my feelings and she asked me what my 'Why' is. In order to win races, I have to want a win for reasons outside of an outcome like being on the podium. As I get older and put more races under my belt, I sometimes find the 'spark' harder to find. It's not always as easy as it once was to just show up on race day with the 'fire' already lit. The skate 10k this past weekend was a great example of a race when I didn't have the 'fire' and could tell that I wasn't mentally pushing myself to do my best.
So, here are a few reasons that I came up with for why I want to race and make my body hurt:
I want to finish a race and be able to answer YES! to: "Did I give it my all today?"
I want to prove to myself that I can do hard things.
My very best might not win me every race and that is okay.
After looking back over the week, I realize that the body is fast enough and fit enough to win races. All that I need to do now is let the mind align with the body. With about 2 weeks until we start racing US Nationals in Utah, I should have plenty of time to talk with teammates and coach in order to put my head in the right place to do my very best. The past week of racing alone might have been enough mental stimulus to get me there. I am excited to enjoy the holidays at home and get ready for some super fun racing at Soldier Hollow in a couple weeks!
Mostly, I’m proud of my teammates for the way they handled this past week. Not everyone had the results they wanted, but everyone had a good attitude. I have to give a huge shoutout to my teammate Reid for his back to back podiums this weekend!
I guess the moral of the story is that even some of the best athletes can't give it their all 100% of the time and that's okay. It's those days, when you cross the finish line with gas left in the tank, that remind you: that feeling is more painful than the pain of racing itself. People always say that sport teaches you skills that you can take and apply to your every day life and towards future endeavours. Today is a reminder that they are right. I will take away skills from this chapter in my life and be forever better for it.
Thank you to everyone cheering me on. I appreciate it more than you know.